#8 - Understanding burnout in our young people with Dr Naomi Fisher
Audio Brief
Show transcript
This episode features clinical psychologist Dr. Naomi Fisher, who discusses childhood burnout and challenges conventional approaches that often pathologize children.
There are four key takeaways from this discussion. First, when a child struggles, question the environment rather than pathologizing the child. Second, reframe challenging behaviors as signs of distress, investigating underlying causes instead of punishing symptoms. Third, implement a circuit breaker to immediately stop sources of pressure, creating space for rest, recovery, and reconnection. Finally, prioritize a child's long-term wellbeing above all else, recognizing it as foundational for future success.
Childhood burnout is defined not as a personal failing, but as a logical reaction to a chronically stressful and often inescapable environment. The episode critiques the tendency to "fix" the child to fit the system. Instead, it advocates for examining and questioning the educational environment itself, framing mental health issues as "smoke" from an environmental "fire."
Difficult behaviors such as meltdowns or controlling tendencies are not core problems. These are "signs" of underlying distress, highlighting that mental health struggles are symptoms of a deeper issue. The key is to look upstream to the environmental stressors that act as the root cause.
Recovery from burnout begins with a "circuit breaker," completely stopping the source of pressure. This allows the child space to breathe, recover, and reconnect with family. It emphasizes valuing long-term wellbeing over short-term academic pressure.
The narrative of forcing children to "push through" difficulties is a recipe for burnout, potentially damaging the parent-child relationship. Prioritizing wellbeing, particularly in formative teen years, is crucial. A healthy emotional foundation is paramount for future development and success.
Ultimately, this approach champions a fundamental shift in perspective towards supporting children's mental health and development.
Episode Overview
- Clinical psychologist Dr. Naomi Fisher challenges the conventional view of school-related distress, reframing it as a rational response to a flawed educational system rather than a problem with the child.
- The discussion identifies child burnout as a serious issue caused by prolonged stress in an ill-fitting environment, highlighting apathy and a loss of joy as key warning signs.
- The concept of "upstream thinking" is introduced, urging parents and professionals to address the root causes of distress (the "fire") instead of just managing the symptoms (the "smoke").
- The episode provides a clear path to recovery from burnout, emphasizing the need for a "circuit breaker"—stopping the pressure, prioritizing wellbeing, and rebuilding the parent-child connection before addressing academics.
Key Concepts
- Pathologizing Children: The current educational system often mislabels children who struggle as having a disorder (e.g., "school phobia"), instead of examining how the school environment itself may be the source of the problem.
- Burnout as a Rational Response: A child's withdrawal, anxiety, or refusal to attend school is often a logical and healthy reaction to a toxic or overwhelming environment, not an irrational fear.
- Upstream Thinking: It is crucial to look beyond a child's symptoms (like anxiety or meltdowns) to identify the underlying environmental stressors causing them—addressing the "fire" and not just the "smoke."
- Signs vs. Causes of Distress: Outward behaviors like controlling tendencies, meltdowns, or self-harm are signs of an underlying issue, not the root problem itself.
- The "More is More" Fallacy: The common but counterproductive approach of applying more of a stressor (e.g., forcing more school or tutoring) to a child who is already overwhelmed is a direct recipe for burnout.
- The "Circuit Breaker" Approach: The essential first step in burnout recovery is to stop, remove the stressor, and create a period of rest and reconnection, free from pressure and immediate problem-solving.
- Wellbeing as a Foundation: A child's mental and emotional wellbeing is the necessary foundation for all future learning and development, and it must be prioritized over academic compliance during a crisis.
Quotes
- At 3:02 - "hang on a minute, this isn't a phobia... This isn't the case with me and school. School is just awful." - Dr. Fisher recounts her teenage realization that her aversion to school was a rational response to a negative environment, not an irrational fear.
- At 5:13 - "when the children don't fit into that system, we're pathologizing the children, rather than saying, hang on a minute, maybe we've designed a system that really isn't fit for a lot of our children." - Dr. Fisher articulates the central problem in how school-related distress is often handled.
- At 8:08 - "look upstream of mental ill health... Because mental ill health is like smoke in relation to a fire. It's what's caused the house to catch fire." - Co-host Tiffany Westphal explains the importance of identifying the root causes of distress rather than just addressing the symptoms.
- At 11:38 - "the really key thing that I say to parents to look out for is a loss of excitement about doing anything, even the things they used to enjoy. That can gradually creep up on people." - Dr. Fisher identifies a subtle but critical sign of burnout: a pervasive sense of apathy.
- At 20:24 - "I think the first stage of recovering from burnout is just to stop for a bit and say, 'let's just breathe.'" - Dr. Fisher offers the initial, crucial advice for parents dealing with a child's burnout, emphasizing a pause over immediate action.
- At 23:41 - "We don't allow children that same basic autonomy of 'this isn't working for me, I need something different.'" - Dr. Naomi Fisher points out the double standard where adults can leave a toxic job, but children are not afforded the same agency in their stressful school environments.
- At 27:32 - "We are going to focus on wellbeing first. Because actually that's the foundation of growing up to be a fully functioning adult... right at the base we have to have wellbeing." - Dr. Naomi Fisher articulates the need for parents to consciously shift their priority from academic compliance to their child's fundamental wellbeing.
Takeaways
- Reframe your child's school refusal or anxiety not as defiance, but as a valid signal that their environment is not working for them.
- Monitor your child for apathy and a loss of joy in their usual interests, as this is a more reliable sign of burnout than academic performance alone.
- When burnout is suspected, immediately implement a "circuit breaker" by pausing the demands of school to give your child time and space to rest, recover, and reconnect with you.
- Make your child's wellbeing and your relationship with them the absolute priority; academic concerns can and should wait until their mental health is stable.
