#24 - Jane's Lived Experience

Episode Overview

• The episode features an interview with Jane, a mother of two, discussing her family's "School Can't" experience with her neurodiverse son, Johnny.
• The conversation traces their journey from preschool, where early signs of dysregulation were managed with proactive support, through to the challenges faced in mainstream primary school.
• Jane shares the emotional and practical difficulties of navigating the school system, including an initial misdiagnosis, the impact on her family and career, and her persistent advocacy for her son.
• The story highlights the turning point when Jane found a suitable school environment for Johnny, leading to a dramatic improvement in his well-being, attendance, and confidence.

Key Concepts

• The podcast discusses the challenges parents of neurodiverse children face within the mainstream education system, particularly when children struggle with sensory overload and dysregulation.
• It explores the concept of "School Can't," where a child is unable to attend school due to overwhelming anxiety and a mismatch between their needs and the school environment.
• The episode emphasizes the critical role of parental advocacy, including researching alternative options, communicating with schools, and seeking professional diagnoses and support.
• It highlights the difference a supportive and appropriately structured school environment can make, focusing on individual needs, small class sizes, and building confidence over rigid academic expectations.
• The conversation touches on the personal toll this journey takes on parents, including career sacrifices, mental and emotional strain, and the feeling of isolation.

Quotes

• At 01:23 - "our eldest has got ADHD, Autism and anxiety." - Jane provides context about her son's diagnoses at the start of the interview.
• At 02:32 - "She thought, 'I don't think he's got ADHD... If he had ADHD, he couldn't walk in here and, and create that.'" - Jane recounts the pediatrician's initial dismissal of an ADHD diagnosis based on her son's ability to focus quietly on a creative task in a calm environment.
• At 11:02 - "He was distraught to go to school and it happened very fast. We didn't know what to do. The school didn't know what to do." - Jane describes the sudden and intense onset of her son's school refusal, highlighting the overwhelming and confusing nature of the situation for everyone involved.
• At 21:41 - "He has had a 94% attendance rate. He's happy to go to school. He's participating in anything and everything." - Jane shares the remarkable turnaround in her son's attendance and engagement after moving to a new, more suitable school.
• At 29:31 - "I promise you, you'll appreciate things so much more. You'll find deep connections with people that you never thought you could because of what you're going through." - Jane offers a message of hope and resilience to other parents, emphasizing the personal growth and meaningful connections that can emerge from this difficult experience.

Takeaways

• Proactively advocate for your child's needs; the system may not automatically provide the right support, and persistent effort is often required to find a suitable solution.
• Trust your instincts as a parent. Even when professionals dismiss your concerns, continue seeking answers and support if you feel something isn't right with your child's educational experience.
• Seek out communities and connect with other families going through similar experiences to combat feelings of isolation and share resources and emotional support.