#6 - Lived Experience - Our Journey to Unschooling with Jane Nicholson
Audio Brief
Show transcript
This episode explores Jane Nicholson's journey homeschooling two of her three neurodivergent sons, navigating severe school refusal and finding alternative educational paths.
There are three key takeaways from this conversation. First, prioritizing a child's mental well-being over strict school attendance is crucial when traditional systems cause trauma. Second, homeschooling can involve a "deschooling" period and child-led learning, allowing for recovery and tailored education, not just replicating a classroom. Third, building a strong support network is essential for parents navigating these challenges, combating isolation and providing practical guidance.
Jane's family experienced what is termed "School Can't," where her sons' neurodiversity led to extreme trauma and refusal to attend. This included one child ripping off clothes and hiding under the bed, making physical attendance impossible. The constant distress and unpredictable calls also impacted Jane's ability to maintain her own business.
Mainstream schools often lack the necessary support for neurodivergent children's sensory and emotional needs. Consequently, Jane adopted "deschooling," a vital period of recovery from school-related trauma for her children. This was followed by an unschooling approach, embracing child-led learning tailored to their natural interests rather than a rigid curriculum.
Finding community is vital to combat the isolation families face when traditional schooling fails. Support can come from local homeschool groups, online networks, extracurricular activities, and therapy-facilitated connections, providing both emotional solace and invaluable practical advice.
Ultimately, this conversation underscores the profound challenges and empowering solutions for families navigating neurodiversity and complex educational choices.
Episode Overview
- This episode features an interview with Jane Nicholson, a mother of three neurodivergent boys, who shares her family's lived experience with "School Can't" and their transition to homeschooling.
- Jane details the significant challenges and trauma her sons faced in the traditional school system, which ultimately led to her decision to home-educate two of them.
- The conversation explores the emotional and practical difficulties of navigating school refusal, including the impact on Jane's career and the family's daily life.
- Jane discusses the process of "deschooling" to allow her children to heal, adopting a child-led learning approach, and the importance of finding a supportive community.
Key Concepts
- School Can't Experience: The daily stress, unpredictability, and emotional toll faced by families when a child is unable to attend school due to anxiety, trauma, or unmet needs.
- Neurodiversity in Education: The challenges neurodivergent children (with conditions like autism and ADHD) face in a mainstream school system that isn't equipped to support their sensory and emotional needs.
- Homeschooling as a Last Resort: The decision to homeschool was made out of necessity for the child's mental health and safety after exhausting options within the traditional school system.
- Deschooling: The essential process of taking a break from formal, structured learning to allow a child to recover from school-related trauma and reset their nervous system before beginning home education.
- Unschooling & Child-Led Learning: An educational philosophy that moves away from a rigid, school-at-home curriculum and instead follows the child's natural interests and passions as the foundation for learning.
- Socialization for Homeschooled Children: Finding social connections through local homeschool groups, extracurricular activities, and therapy-facilitated groups tailored to the child's needs and comfort level.
Quotes
- At 00:36 - "She is a mom to three neurodivergent boys, one of whom is attending school, and the other two are now being home educated." - The host introduces the guest, Jane Nicholson, and her family's educational situation.
- At 01:12 - "And all neurodivergent. We've got a mix of autism and ADHD." - Jane describes the specific needs of her three sons, setting the context for their challenges with mainstream school.
- At 01:50 - "Because of School Can't, I was getting unpredictable phone calls all the time, which made it impossible." - Jane explains the difficulty of maintaining her own business and career due to the constant demands of her children's school-related distress.
- At 03:16 - "Our middle child, he had major School Can't, would rip all his clothes off, hide under the bed. So we physically couldn't take him to school." - Jane describes the extreme trauma and refusal her son experienced, highlighting the severity of the situation that led to homeschooling.
- At 25:45 - "Prioritise mental health over attendance. And anyone who tries to push you otherwise is not healthy." - Jane offers her most important piece of advice to other parents navigating a similar journey.
Takeaways
- Prioritize your child's mental and emotional well-being over school attendance. If the school environment is causing harm, it's crucial to recognize that forcing attendance can worsen the trauma.
- Understand that homeschooling does not have to replicate a traditional school day. Embracing a "deschooling" period and adopting a flexible, interest-led approach can be more beneficial for a child's recovery and learning engagement.
- Actively seek out a support network, whether online or through local groups. Connecting with other parents who have similar experiences can combat feelings of isolation and provide invaluable practical advice and emotional support.
