What Did Men Do to Deserve This? — with Jonathan Haidt and Richard Reeves

Episode Overview

• Explores the modern crisis of unhappiness and lack of purpose affecting young men, examining its social, economic, and technological roots.
• Discusses the concept of masculinity as an achievement earned through hardship and contribution, rather than a biological given.
• Investigates evolutionary psychology, particularly the concept of "mate value," to explain male risk-taking and the drive for status.
• Identifies the failure of societal institutions, from rites of passage to vocational training, in guiding boys into productive manhood.
• Proposes concrete solutions, including age-gating the internet to combat addiction and heavily investing in non-college educational pathways.

Key Concepts

• The Crisis of Young Men: A central theme focusing on the rising rates of unhappiness, uselessness, and social/economic struggles among young men.
• Masculinity as an Achievement: The idea that manhood is not innate but must be developed through effort, overcoming challenges, and sustained, difficult work.
• Evolutionary Drivers & Mate Value: The theory that male behavior is deeply influenced by an evolutionary, "all-or-nothing" strategy for reproductive success, driving risk-taking and the pursuit of high status.
• Surplus Value & Generativity: A proposed framework defining mature masculinity as creating more value (love, security, resources) for society and one's community than one consumes.
• Decline of Institutional Scaffolding: The observation that traditional structures like rites of passage, clear community roles, and apprenticeships that once guided boys into manhood have been dismantled.
• Failure of Educational Pathways: The catastrophic underinvestment in non-college tracks like vocational training and apprenticeships, leaving men who don't attend university without clear paths to success.
• The Dopamine Trap: The argument that modern technology provides easy, short-term dopamine hits that discourage young men from engaging in the long-term, difficult projects necessary to build competence and character.

Quotes

• At 0:00 - "Some males never become men. It's not a given." - Scott Galloway sets the theme for the conversation, highlighting that manhood is an earned status, not an automatic one.
• At 0:27 - "My life often feels useless." - Jonathan Haidt quotes a survey statement that a rapidly growing number of high school seniors agree with, linking it to a lack of purpose.
• At 9:29 - "Don't do it. Just do this. It's more... get your dopamine real quick... Don't do hard things." - Jonathan Haidt summarizes the seductive message of modern technology, which offers immediate gratification and pulls young men away from the difficult, long-term projects that build competence.
• At 13:15 - "Here's the difficult thing, is that you have to be institutionalized... or institutionally scaffolded, as you say, into masculinity, into mature masculinity." - Richard Reeves argues that becoming a man isn't a natural process but one that requires deliberate social and institutional guidance.
• At 24:34 - "Men get more reward from impacting things that aren't in their their proximity and women get more reward from impacting things really in a deep, meaningful way in their direct proximity... They get have a different reward system." - Scott Galloway, elaborating on his theory that men and women derive meaning from different types of impact.
• At 25:51 - "Before there was monogamy... the most successful men will have multiple wives, and... most men will not have any. And so because of that, uh males... are designed with more of a... all or nothing strategy, or go for it." - Jonathan Haidt, explaining the evolutionary roots of male risk-taking and the drive for high status.
• At 31:08 - "I have one which I think will have a much bigger impact very quickly at with almost no cost. And that is to age-gate the internet and try to get boys up to the age of 16 or 18 without having multiple addictions." - Jonathan Haidt, offering his primary policy solution to the problems facing young men.
• At 48:17 - "It wouldn't matter as much if the US had something resembling an alternative... the underinvestment in apprenticeships, vocational training, trade schools, etc. in the US is bad period, but it is a catastrophe for men in a period where we're getting fewer than through higher education." - Richard Reeves, identifying the lack of non-college pathways as a critical failure contributing to the crisis for men.
• At 52:53 - "You don't understand the concept of regression to the mean... Secondly, you're massively overstating the actual value of those things. And thirdly, you just said it, you're being a narcissist." - Richard Reeves, providing a blunt "tough love" response to Scott Galloway's anxiety about his son's college prospects.

Takeaways

• Foster resilience and competence in young men by encouraging them to undertake difficult, long-term projects rather than seeking easy, short-term gratification.
• Advocate for policies that delay children's access to addictive digital platforms, such as age-gating social media and smartphones, to protect their development.
• Prioritize and fund alternative post-secondary pathways, such as vocational schools and apprenticeships, to provide viable routes to success for non-college-bound men.
• Frame masculinity around the principle of "surplus value"—a focus on contributing positively to one's family, community, and society.
• Parents must separate their own status ambitions from their children's life paths, recognizing that pressuring them into elite institutions can be a form of narcissism.