The PMT Boys Get An Expensive Gift + Zac Debuts PMTown

Episode Overview

• This behind-the-scenes PMTV episode follows the Pardon My Take crew through office drama, fan interactions, unsolicited product unboxings, and a virtual tour of their shared video game server.
• The episode opens with a debate over whether a new coworker should accept free New England Patriots tickets from a mysterious online account ("Glenn Tape Watch") that the hosts suspect is run by their producer, Max.
• A visiting Chicago Bears fan named Eun stops by the office to share a tribute sign honoring his recently deceased mother ahead of a nationally televised game.
• The crew unboxes two 14-pound, $1,200 motorized adult novelty machines sent by the device's inventor in response to an earlier podcast episode, alongside an unboxing of Washington Wizards apparel.
• The episode concludes with contributor Zac leading a guided tour of "PM Town," a custom Minecraft server built by members of the crew.

Key Concepts

• Office Paranoia and Burner Account Politics: Hank Lockwood explains that a new coworker ("Drake Maye Lover," who has been at the office for a month) received a DM and free Patriots tickets from the account "Glenn Tape Watch," which recently posted a video flattering to Drake Maye and anti-Jayden Daniels. Because Hank and PFT Commenter suspect ("We think") that coworker Max runs the account, Hank advised the new coworker to return the tickets to avoid a "gotcha" prank, even though Hank hedged ("I think so... I haven't decided. We've had some ticket hiccups") on whether he is even attending the game or has an extra ticket to offer instead.
• Sports Fandom as a Family Tribute: Visiting fan Eun ("Coldest Man") illustrates the personal connection fans have to sports by sharing that his mother, Mary, recently passed away. Although she barely spoke English, she was a devoted Chicago Bears fan who watched every televised game. To honor her, Eun created a sign for the broadcast reading: "Most LIKED ❤️ Bears Fan: 🤍 Big Cat (Dan), 🤍 Iceman (Caleb), 🤍 Coldest Man (Eun), ❤️ My Mom (Mary) Watching from above 🙏". Big Cat promises to text his contacts at Amazon to help get the sign on television, invites Eun onto The Yak* at noon for 5 minutes, and offers him lunch from two cheese pizzas he accidentally ordered the day before.
• Industrial-Grade Novelty Engineering and Off-Grid Power Math: Following an earlier podcast episode where producer Memes (Connor Filiberto) mentioned packing a blowjob machine in his "apocalypse go-bag," the inventor of the "Autoblow machines for men" sent the office two 14-pound devices (estimated by a background voice at "30 pounds of sex toys" total) that Memes claims cost $1,200 each. In an accompanying letter—which explicitly notes, "These are gifts with no obligation to mention them"—the inventor states he has spent 18 years perfecting these motorized, reciprocating, pneumatic, piston-driven machines housed in extruded aluminum cases (which Big Cat jokes is "aerospace-grade aluminum"). The inventor also calculated the exact off-grid power requirements for an apocalypse: one machine requires 96 watts of DC power, meaning three men pedaling properly equipped generator bikes simultaneously can keep one machine running.
• Connected Devices and Data Privacy Concerns: The inventor's letter explains that the machines connect to Wi-Fi, sync with videos, feature AI girlfriends, and allow users to invent and share routines with other users (with walkthroughs at autoblowme.com), which PFT compares to "Strava for a guy's boner." Packaging read by Mike Katic notes the device "works with both circumcised and uncircumcised" and "works on flaccid or erect penis." While Katic promises to try it by the end of next week if no one else does (later amending that he will take it home Saturday night if he gets no action), he and Zac speculate nervously about physical and digital safety—wondering, "What if he lubed it up with like poison?" or "What if you stick your dick in it and it chops it off?" while Zac worries that because of the Wi-Fi connection, "It takes the data. It could take all the data of your penis."
• Team Relationships and Sponsorship Disclosures: PFT Commenter unboxes free apparel (a grey "The District" shirt, navy "The District" shorts, a grey Washington hoodie, and a black DC quarter-zip) while disclosing his tie to the team: "No free ads, but shout out to the Wizards... their equipment team. I think they send me one of everything that comes through those doors." PFT notes the Wizards are 1-0 and jokes they are "probably going to go undefeated this year." The episode also includes two sponsored ad reads by Zac: Twisted Tea (hard iced tea made with real brewed tea, non-carbonated, 5% alcohol, with a party pack featuring 4 flavors: original, half and half, raspberry, and peach) and TickPick ("This week's episode is brought to you by TickPick").
• Collaborative Virtual World-Building ("PM Town"): Zac tours the crew's Minecraft server built by Colton, Shane (Mantra5A), Memes, Jacob, and Zac. Highlights include a Town Hall with 10 windows in the back for natural light, a Hollywood sign Zac claims is an "accurate 1:1,000,000 scale" before hedging ("I might be taking some liberties in saying that"), an unfinished "TAK..." billboard estimated at "22% done, maybe 19% done," and a cloud-level structure that pivoted from a "castle in the sky" to a "hyperbolic chamber," a "40-millimeter IMAX," or a home gym.

Quotes

• At 2:43 - "So Drake Maye Lover, a lifetime Patriots fan, new to Chicago, hasn't gone to a Patriots game in a long time, got free tickets from Glenn Tape Watch. You already had your ticket, and you told Drake Maye Lover to send the ticket back to Glenn Tape Watch." - PFT Commenter summarizing how Hank's paranoia about a coworker's alleged burner account cost a new employee free NFL tickets.
• At 5:07 - "I'm going to go to this game, nationally televised, and I'm going to be in person, she's going to be in heaven, I'm going to make a sign." - Visiting Bears fan Eun explaining his motivation for creating a tribute poster for his late mother, Mary.
• At 11:03 - "I'm the inventor of the Autoblow machines for men. I've been inventing and perfecting my blowjob machines for the last 18 years. There's no one in the world who takes this more seriously, as evidenced by the 14-pound motorized reciprocating pneumatic piston-driven masturbation machines housed extruded aluminum cases that I've sent you." - Max reading the letter from the Autoblow inventor detailing the physical specifications of the unsolicited gifts.
• At 12:00 - "Ours are built like home appliances and sync with videos, come with AI girlfriends who can control them, and let you invent and share your own masturbation routines with other users." - Max reading the inventor's letter explaining the Wi-Fi and social-sharing capabilities of the devices.
• At 12:40 - "If the power grid goes down, as they require 96 watt of DC power, I've calculated that three men on properly equipped generator bikes should be able to keep one of these running." - Max reading the inventor's off-grid power calculations in response to the podcast's "apocalypse go-bag" episode.

Takeaways

• Compare final checkout prices when purchasing live event or NFL tickets rather than relying on base prices, or use a zero-service-fee marketplace like episode sponsor TickPick (which guarantees 100% authentic tickets, cites a $105 get-in price for Sunday's Ravens vs. Bengals game, and offers new customers $20 off their first order of $200 or more with promo code PMT20).
• Evaluate the data privacy implications of Wi-Fi-enabled personal devices before connecting them to a network, especially when features involve syncing user activity and sharing routines online.
• Verify whether you have a guaranteed backup plan before advising friends or coworkers to turn down free event tickets out of suspicion that the sender has ulterior motives.