The art and science of failing well

Episode Overview

• The episode explores why failure is an essential and unavoidable prerequisite for learning, growth, and ultimately, success.
• It outlines different organizational frameworks for responding to mistakes, distinguishing between counterproductive cultures of blame and effective cultures that promote psychological safety.
• Experts discuss the psychological challenge of separating one's identity from one's mistakes, a phenomenon known as cognitive dissonance.
• The discussion provides actionable strategies for individuals and organizations to reframe failure, learn from it constructively, and build resilience.

Key Concepts

• Cognitive Dissonance and Failure: The psychological discomfort that arises when making a mistake clashes with our self-image of being competent. This makes it difficult to separate the action ("I made a mistake") from identity ("I am a failure").
• Three Organizational Responses to Failure: Professor Robert Sutton details three distinct approaches organizations take:
  • 1. Forgive and Forget: This approach lacks accountability and prevents any learning from occurring.
  • 2. The Silicon Valley Standard (Remember and Blame): This model creates a culture of fear where mistakes are hidden, thus stifling learning and innovation.
  • 3. Forgive and Remember: The most effective model, which fosters psychological safety to admit errors while simultaneously creating systems to ensure the lessons are captured and applied.
• Positive Psychology's View on Failure: Positive Psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar explains that failure is necessary for deep learning and building resilience. Allowing space for failure and incorporating recovery periods ("recreation") is crucial for fostering creativity and productivity.
• A Framework for Failing Well: Economist Tim Harford suggests three practical steps for responding constructively to mistakes:
  • 1. Separate Yourself From The Mistake: Understand that a single error does not define you as a person.
  • 2. Plan for Potential Failure: When starting something new, consider what you will do if it doesn't work out to minimize the potential downside.
  • 3. Have a Feedback Mechanism: Establish a reliable way to get honest feedback to know if you are succeeding or failing.

Quotes

• At 00:22 - "We find it really hard to separate the idea that 'I made a mistake, I failed, I did something wrong' with the idea that 'I am a failure.'" - Tim Harford on the psychological trap of cognitive dissonance that makes it difficult to learn from our errors.
• At 01:55 - "It's to forgive and remember. So you forgive to have some psychological safety, and you remember so that you can learn from your own mistakes and other people's mistakes." - Robert Sutton explaining the ideal organizational culture for handling failure, which balances support with accountability.
• At 06:00 - "Learn to fail, or fail to learn." - Tal Ben-Shahar presenting a concise mantra that highlights the core message that failure is an inseparable part of the learning process.

Takeaways

• Actively separate your identity from your mistakes. Instead of internalizing failure as a personal flaw, view it as an external event—a data point that provides valuable information on what not to do next time.
• In a team or organization, champion a "forgive and remember" culture. Encourage transparency about errors by removing blame, but follow up with processes like post-mortems to ensure the lessons are formally learned and integrated.
• Intentionally schedule "recovery time" after setbacks or intense periods of work. Just as "recreation" is linked to "creation," allowing yourself mental space to recharge is not a sign of weakness but a necessary step for processing lessons and fostering future creativity.