Not all gratitude is created equal. A psychologist explains

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Big Think Nov 04, 2025

Audio Brief

Show transcript
This episode covers the transformative power of directed gratitude, exploring how its target profoundly impacts well-being and relationships. There are three key takeaways. First, shift your gratitude practice from merely listing items to actively directing thanks toward a specific person, a higher power, or a transcendent concept. Second, recognize gratitude as a powerful social tool, reinforcing relationships and making others feel valued. Third, use gratitude to combat loneliness by connecting with something larger than yourself. Research highlights that expressing gratitude to a transcendent source, whether a deity or nature, yields the most significant health and well-being benefits. This practice, even for non-religious individuals, fosters a profound sense of belonging and reduces isolation. Understanding gratitude's true object can unlock its full potential for a richer, more connected life.

Episode Overview

  • This episode explores the psychological and social benefits of gratitude, emphasizing its power to strengthen relationships and foster a sense of connection.
  • It introduces a key distinction: the most impactful form of gratitude focuses not just on what you're grateful for, but to whom you are grateful.
  • The discussion centers on a study comparing three forms of gratitude expression: prayer to a deity, self-help journaling, and expressing thanks to another person.
  • The episode highlights that expressing gratitude to a higher power or a transcendent source (like God or nature) yields the most significant health and well-being benefits.

Key Concepts

  • Gratitude is a powerful social emotion that signals we are valued in our relationships, binding us to others and encouraging pro-social behavior.
  • The effectiveness of gratitude practice depends heavily on its object; directing gratitude towards a specific entity (a person, God, nature) is more powerful than simply listing things one is grateful for.
  • A scientific study found that participants who expressed gratitude through prayer reported greater health and well-being benefits compared to those who journaled or expressed gratitude to another person.
  • Imbuing life, goals, and relationships with a sense of sacred or transcendent meaning can lead to greater effort and more profound benefits.
  • Practicing gratitude can be a powerful antidote to loneliness, as it helps individuals feel connected to something larger than themselves.

Quotes

  • At 00:26 - "It's not 'What are you grateful for?' It's 'To whom are you grateful?'" - The speaker, Sarah Schnitker, Ph.D., explains that the target of gratitude is a critical detail for maximizing its benefits.
  • At 02:32 - "Gratitude is a potent force for good." - This statement summarizes the overall conclusion that gratitude, particularly when directed towards a higher power, can have a profoundly positive impact.

Takeaways

  • Shift your gratitude practice from simply listing things you're thankful for to actively directing your thanks toward a specific person, a higher power, or a transcendent concept like nature.
  • Recognize that gratitude is a social tool; expressing it to others reinforces your relationships and helps them feel valued.
  • To combat feelings of isolation, use gratitude to connect with something bigger than yourself, which can foster a sense of belonging and reduce loneliness.
  • You don't have to be religious to benefit from transcendent gratitude; you can direct thankfulness towards the universe, existence, or the beauty of the natural world.