How to Raise Good Men — Scott Galloway & Richard Reeves Answer Your Questions

Episode Overview

• Scott Galloway and Richard Reeves answer audience questions about modern masculinity.
• The discussion covers parenting strategies for raising boys, including how to talk about sex and model positive behavior.
• They analyze the challenges boys face in educational settings and the difficulties teachers encounter in connecting with them.
• The episode explores social norms and traditional gestures, re-framing them as acts of service and respect rather than superiority.

Key Concepts

• Communicating with Sons: The hosts emphasize the need for open, non-judgmental dialogue with boys about sensitive subjects like sex and pornography, starting from a young age.
• Pornography vs. Reality: A key theme is teaching boys that pornography is a fantasy and vastly different from real-life intimacy. This helps them develop healthier expectations and relationships.
• "Show, Don't Tell": Both hosts advocate for modeling positive masculinity through actions—such as showing respect to partners, serving others, and demonstrating generosity—rather than lecturing boys on how they should behave.
• Boys in Education: The discussion highlights that modern classroom environments can be challenging for boys due to reduced physical activity, early start times disrupting sleep, and a lack of male role models.
• Symbolism in Masculinity: The episode examines the symbolic value of traditional gestures (like a man paying for a date or walking on the street-side). These acts are framed not as outdated rules but as signals of intent, generosity, and service.

Quotes

• At 02:35 - "Porn is to real life sex what Harry Potter's Hogwarts is to the typical public middle school." - Richard Reeves explains the importance of teaching boys that pornography is a fantasy, not a reflection of reality.
• At 09:31 - "Ask a boy for help. They want to be useful. They want to be seen as competent... Giving them small acts where they can demonstrate physical competence is a way to connect with them." - Scott Galloway offers advice to a female teacher on how to command respect and build rapport with teenage boys in the classroom.
• At 20:17 - "It does not mean superiority, it means service." - Richard Reeves reframes the traditional gesture of a man paying for a date as a signal of generosity and a willingness to provide, rather than an assertion of dominance.

Takeaways

• Frame sensitive conversations carefully. When discussing topics like pornography with your son, focus on the distinction between fantasy and reality to build media literacy, rather than approaching it from a place of shame which can shut down communication.
• Create opportunities for boys to feel competent. In educational or home settings, engage boys by asking for their help with physical tasks. This allows them to demonstrate competence, feel useful, and build a positive connection with authority figures.
• Embody the values you want to instill. The most effective way to teach positive masculinity is to consistently model it through your own actions. How you treat your partner, serve others, and show generosity will leave a more lasting impression on your son than any lecture.