Christmas Special ft. George Clarkey and Arthur Hill #38

Episode Overview

• In this chaotic Christmas special, the hosts are joined by their friends George Clarke and Arthur Hill for an episode filled with festive banter, unusual gift exchanges, and personal anecdotes.
• The group's attempt to rank the UK's Christmas number-one hits from the 2000s quickly derails into tangents about Santa's commercial origins, controversial lyrics, and random impressions.
• Pivoting from music, they successfully rank their top ten Christmas films, covering classics like Home Alone and Elf while debating unconventional choices like Die Hard.
• The conversation delves into personal family traditions, from unique Christmas morning meals to the pagan origins of the holiday, all culminating in an absurd, improvised monologue.

Key Concepts

• Christmas Special Banter: The episode is a festive special featuring guests George Clarke and Arthur Hill, characterized by chaotic, lighthearted conversation and running gags.
• Unusual Gift Exchange: The podcast kicks off with a gift exchange that includes a bath bomb for someone who hates baths and a music box that plays the theme from The Godfather, sparking a recurring joke.
• Santa Claus Mythology: The group discusses personal stories of discovering the truth about Santa and explores how the modern image of Santa was heavily influenced by Coca-Cola advertising.
• Christmas Music Ranking: An attempt to rank UK Christmas number-one hits from the 2000s, which is quickly abandoned due to numerous tangents about artists like LadBaby and Bob the Builder.
• Christmas Movie Ranking: A more successful ranking of the group's top ten Christmas films, including The Polar Express, Elf, Scrooged, and Home Alone, accompanied by numerous quotes and impressions.
• Debating Holiday Media: The conversation touches on unconventional Christmas movies like Eyes Wide Shut and the controversial lyrics in classic songs like "Fairytale of New York" and Band Aid's charity single.
• Personal & Historical Traditions: The hosts share their unique family Christmas traditions, such as specific breakfast foods and an Italian pre-dinner pasta course, and discuss the pagan origins of the December 25th celebration.

Quotes

• At 0:10 - "Right, so hello and welcome back to another episode of the Bach & Arthur podcast. It's episode 38, which is the Christmas special, everyone!" - The host officially begins the Christmas-themed episode.
• At 3:09 - "You come to me on the day that Jesus was born, and you ask me for a gift." - A host does a dramatic Godfather impression after gifting Arthur a music box that plays the film's theme.
• At 4:13 - "You don't like 'em? ... I hate 'em." - The hosts discover that George, the recipient of a bath bomb, actually hates taking baths.
• At 11:36 - "...on the Saving Grace episode that Santa wasn't real and all of my little sisters watched it." - Bach reveals that he accidentally ruined the Santa Claus myth for his younger sisters during a previous podcast appearance.
• At 14:52 - "...my oldest sisters, obviously knew the truth... And so I went into the fireplace and grabbed a piece of coal... and put it in her stocking." - Arthur tells the story of how a childhood Christmas prank on his sister backfired and led to him finding out the truth about Santa Claus.
• At 24:46 - "So he's just made up?" - A host asks after hearing that the modern Santa Claus is a blend of different traditions and commercial marketing.
• At 29:35 - "Do you know it's Christmas? Do you know it's Christmas time?" - The hosts discuss the Band Aid song, touching upon the modern-day controversy that its lyrics have a "white savior complex."
• At 33:55 - "I can feel something inside of me say, 'I really don't think you're strong enough now.'" - After a brief, confused moment, one host breaks into a passionate, off-key rendition of Cher's "Believe."
• At 34:54 - "Oh my god, is fucking LadBaby going to be on this at some point?" - A host correctly predicts the inevitable appearance of the YouTuber known for getting multiple Christmas number-one hits.
• At 39:04 - "I was ice skating a couple of days ago, and he straight up sang it, and everyone just kind of went, 'What?'" - A host describes his surprise at hearing a live performer sing the original, controversial lyrics of "Fairytale of New York."
• At 54:21 - "That's it, if I can't find something to wear, I'm not going." - George quotes the Grinch, highlighting the character's relatable, melodramatic nature.
• At 55:01 - "Who's that? It's fucking Tom Hanks, love... Oh, is it Tom Hanks? Oh, it's Tom Hanks again!" - Arthur humorously describes the experience of watching The Polar Express and realizing Tom Hanks voices nearly every character.
• At 56:56 - "The last line... is the word 'fuck,' and that's pretty cool." - Chip shares an obscure fact about the Stanley Kubrick film Eyes Wide Shut, which he argues is a Christmas movie.
• At 58:36 - "The birth of the unconquered sun! A celebration of the sun's return after the winter solstice." - George passionately explains the pagan origins of the December 25th celebration, linking it to the Roman festival of Sol Invictus.
• At 1:04:47 - "I come into your home, I give you life. I give your mother life. And I can take it away as quickly as I give it... Merry Christmas, motherfucker." - In a climactic and absurd moment, Arthur delivers a threatening monologue in a mafioso voice over the sound of a gentle music box.

Takeaways

• Embrace your own unique and quirky family traditions, as they are often the most memorable parts of the holiday experience.
• The best holiday gatherings are often unscripted and chaotic, thriving on spontaneity rather than a strict agenda.
• When ranking creative works like music or movies, the entertaining tangents and discussions are often more valuable than the final list itself.
• Expand your holiday movie watchlist by considering that the definition of a "Christmas movie" is subjective and can include films simply set during the season.
• Engage critically with classic holiday media, as some beloved songs and films may contain outdated or controversial elements.
• Recognize that many cherished holiday traditions, including the modern image of Santa Claus, have surprisingly recent and commercial origins.
• Comical or unexpected childhood experiences, like finding out the truth about Santa, often evolve into treasured family stories.
• The spirit of Christmas celebrations has deep historical roots, some of which trace back to pre-Christian pagan festivals celebrating the winter solstice.
• Humor, running jokes, and shared pop culture references are a powerful way to bond with friends and family during the holidays.